elaborating on the ornathological piece....

There is this pub called "the Bird" and I like it but there aren't any mirrors in the toilet and so I can't see if I have a goober in my eye or if I have whiskey teeth. That's like red wine teeth but it's when you are so drunk.

Wow! Wait a minute! I found out that my hip flask doubles as a mirror. You can be SO drunk AND soooo beautiful...well...um. meh.

There is an election going on. I think Penny Wong would have been a really cute baby.

See? She is chinese. Chinese babies are up there with Japanese babies, who are among the cutest in my racial judgement of cuteness. It's not racist if you have an immense love for the cute squishyness of the country's infant population.

Okay Brendan is perverting my creative process so I must go now and drink the wine. GROSS HE JUST LICKED MY FACE!

I WHOOPED BATMAN'S ASS. I WHOOPED BATMAN'S ASS. I WHOOPED BATMAN'S ASS.