delirum tremens / DT's

I have always thought that a state of constant drunkenness would be a most desirable lifestyle, but I never realised just how difficult it really is to achieve. For example, when I was fourteen, I listened to too much Crass and I did heaps of research into how an anarcho-passificistic society could effectively exist in today's world. It's a real nice idea but unfortunately there are way too many assholes that will fuck it up for the rest of us. You might have a sweet four-day bender, but eventually you are going to have to answer to Centrelink or your mum or some intervening so-and-so. Think about it! Are YOU ruining my life??? If so, shut up! I passed the liver function test so you can all get fucked!

Apparently at least two people read this shite that I continue to use as a means to publicly embarrass myself, so I must apologise for scarcity of posts. It's not that I have found Jesus, it's just that I have a boyfriend now and he is a decent venting substitute. Yeah, I have such a huge abundance of handsomeness in my life lately - it's like being in a P Diddy video. And I am Mariah Carey, minus the painkiller addiction and multiple marriages to crap producers. I may as well be half-black-half-irish, hey? Oh, Glitter.....

From Wikipedia:

Delirium tremens (colloquially, the DTs, "the shakes", "the horrors", "the heebie geebies", "the fear", "the abdabs", "the staggers and jags", "the jimjams", "jazz hands", "the shakes and the heaves", or "the rats"; afflicted individuals referred to as "jitterbugs" in 1930s Harlem slang); literally, "shaking delirium" or "'trembling madness" in Latin) is an acute episode of delirium that is usually caused by withdrawal from alcohol, first described in 1813.^[1][2] Benzodiazepines are the treatment of choice for delirium tremens (DT).^[3]

Man, I got a silly case of the jimjams.

I've had some problems with heart palpitations as of late. I feel like my heart is about to fly outta my chest all the time and I can't breathe. That's pretty annoying. I also get about two hours' sleep every night, so I'm pretty much retarded AND drunk most of the time. The good news is that I don't have to work for a few months so I plan to write a flipload of awesome music and then Centrelink won't make me get a supervised part-time job at Coles. Fluorescent lights are unflattering to even the most flawless complexion. That's why I am reluctant to go to heaps of art exhibitions..I always have bloodshot eyes! I saw a doctor about it once, and she said to use some drops, and we'll "keep an EYE on it".  HA HA HAAAaaaa shoulda been a god damn comedian. How come they don't give me lollypops when I go to the doctor any more? I'm super brave! I didn't even cry when I had to have a pap smear and afterwards the lady was like "Oh, here is a fucking huge sanitary pad/nappy, in case you BLEED for a little while". I wanted to hit her with the shoe horn she just put into my vag. Worst experience ever. At least I know I don't have AIDS or the herp, though. That would be real shit. No genital warts for me! Hurrah!

My sister said the world is going to be overrun by zombies in the near future. Whaaa???

I know nobody likes to read big books without pictures, so here is something to help ease your ADD:

DON'T! DON'T! DON'T BITE YOUR FRIENDS!

Nawwww. Just thinking about doing all these dishes is giving me a headache. I'm going to try to go to sleep now. With any luck, I won't just lay here in an exhausted stupor for three hours. Tally-ho!